


How Sweet the Sound

by Jenshih_Blue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 10:57:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenshih_Blue/pseuds/Jenshih_Blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even the lost can have their prayers answered and sometimes in the most surprising ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Sweet the Sound

**Author's Note:**

> An AU version of who Castiel took as his vessel and how written before S4's The Rapture.

“What am I suppose to do, Lord?”

Fingers flexing against the cold plastic of the steering wheel he sat mesmerized by the rhythmic movement of the windshield wipers, and the deafening echo of rain against the roof. He can still taste the blood along the corner of his mouth and the lingering salt of his tears as they trail down his face, tangled in the rough shadow of his beard; microscopic beads of moisture that capture the milky glow of the streetlights through the rain.

His entire life he’d tried to be a good man, a righteous man, but it seemed no matter how far he fled from his past the sins of the father found him. At seventeen, he’d left behind the ruin of what had once been his family, living on the streets until he found a job, and tried to begin anew. Things had seemed so simple at that age especially when he’d met the woman who had become his wife. She’d guided him to the church where he’d found something to believe in other than the rot of humanity that had haunted him as a child—the drugs, prostitution, and violence.

Always he’d believed that God had guided him to that small town in Illinois. Through the years he’d grown and evolved into a man his mother, God rest her soul, would have never recognized. He married and they’d purchased a small two-bedroom house at the outskirts of town with a big yard. They’d made plans to begin a family. His wife had announced a year ago that she was pregnant with their first child and it seemed for one brief moment that all was well in the world.

Three months into the pregnancy though she’d lost the baby. Afterward everything had changed, their world began to crumble, neither of them willing to speak of the loss they both suffered. He lost himself in his work as a sales rep for a farm equipment company, spending days, even weeks on the road in an attempt to escape the bitter grief of his life. The church and her charity work had consumed her. Before he realized it, they were two strangers, sharing a bed, a distance between them wider than the Grand Canyon and deeper than any ocean.

He’d been out of town for the past week, a sales trip, not much to call home about, but suddenly he’d missed her something awful. All the little things seemed important again; the feel of her silky hair against his fingertips, the creamy smoothness of her pale skin, and the dusting of freckles across her shoulders and nose. He wanted to return home, take her in his arms, and tell her that he would never leave her again. Instead, he’d gone home to find her in the arms of the neighbor down the road, her legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust inside her, her pale firm breasts flushed pink, and her lips parted in a deep moan.

“What the hell was I suppose to do, Lord? I’m just a man.” He whispered eyes shifting to focus on the tall spiral of the church. Behind it as if in answer to his question a bolt of lightning cleaved the night sky.

He felt the sudden desire to be inside the church, to feel that comfort he’d felt in the beginning when he’s met Audra. She’d been everything to him and yet when he’d seen that man, touching her, violating her and the vows they’d exchanged so many years ago jealousy and anger had consumed him. They were husband and wife yet she hadn’t touched him in months as she now touched this man he’d considered his friend. The fury had risen in his throat bitter and burning. Before he could stop, he was across the room pulling the man from his wife and had slammed him into the bedroom wall.

Exhaling sharply, he flung the car door open, and stepped into the raging storm. Heart thundering he crossed the street, body guided by a desire for forgiveness. As he mounted the steps to the huge double doors, painted a deep crimson, the memories continued to flow through him, cleaving his soul as the lightning had cleaved the stormy night. This memory burned him deeper than any other.

She’d been screaming, begging him to let her lover go as he’d pounded the naked man to his knees in submission. Then he’d turned on her when she spoke the words he refused to accept.

_“Stop it, Colin, I love him!”_

_“Love him? You, love, him? What happened to our vows?”_

_Her eyes so soft with love now burned with spite, grief, and anger, “You won’t talk to me! You won’t say anything to me!” As he stood there disbelief in his eyes she stepped closer, clutching the sheets over her bare breasts, the smell of sex thick in the air. “You abandoned me months ago! You blame me for our son’s death!” Her hand flew, knuckles connecting with his cheek, the wedding ring she wore tearing into his skin, leaving a bleeding cut in its wake._

Pushing open the church doors, he stepped into the nave and paused at the font. He hesitantly dipped his bloody hands into the water positive that its blessed touch would alight his body with the righteous fire of the Lord’s hand. There was no burn. Just the cool wash of purity as the blood cleansed from his skin leaving behind a pinkish tinge in the water.

_“Colin, you don’t understand,” the man he’d called friend tried to explain._

_Without a glance at the man, he’d spoke two words, soft yet filled with the fury of the storm beyond the walls of the place he’d once called home. “Get out.”_

_He’d grabbed his clothes, fleeing like the coward he was and leaving Audra to face the music of her sin. Colin had no desire though to speak of it. All he’d wanted was to forget it. Audra didn’t. She followed him as he left the bedroom, locking the front door behind her lover. He shrugged off his worn and wrinkled trench coat, hanging it on the rack by the door, loosened his tie as he headed for the kitchen. All the while, his beloved Audra, the woman he’d vowed to love and cherish until death parted them, purging her anger in flood of vile insults._

As he slowly moved up the aisle towards the main altar where the crucifix hung, suspended, an exquisite piece of art that captured Christ’s anguish with unerring detail, he left a trail of bloody water her voice clear in his mind. His tears began anew at the memories that flashed through his mind.

_“You abandoned me, Colin! You’d rather make love to that fucking job than touch your wife!”_

_“That’s not true, Audra.” He splashed cold water on his face from the kitchen sink._

_Audra’s voice rose to a shriek, accusing, and bitter, “You didn’t even stay with me that night at the hospital! How could you leave me there alone when I needed you? Jesus Christ! Could you be any more self-centered? What happened to the man I loved?”_

_“I’m still here, Audra,” his gaze lowered to where droplets of water crashed to stainless steel. “It’s not like the miscarriage was my fault.”_

_“Not your fault?” she screamed. “This isn’t about you!”_

She’d reached out, fists beating against his back, and he’d spun. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but she’d tried to claw his eyes out. He had pushed her back then two things resulted. Her foot entangled in the sheet, she lost her balance, and she—

“It was an accident,” he pled as he fell on his knees before the crucifix, sapphire eyes filled with burning tears, and rimmed red from exhaustion.

The image of her falling and the aftermath would haunt him until he died, he thought. His beautiful Audra, sprawled across the kitchen floor, arms splayed out, and one breast bared, the sheet having slipped from her grip. Once warm hazel eyes empty of life as they stared at the ceiling accusingly, a spreading pool of crimson beneath her head. She’d hit the back of her head on the corner of the granite island as she’d fallen.

“I swear,” he sobbed. “I loved her, Lord. I would never have hurt her, but the police they’ll never believe me.” He clasped his hands tight until his knuckles blanched from the pressure. “Please, tell me, Lord, what am I supposed to do?” His gaze dropped from the crucifix, his brow resting against his bone white knuckles. _God won’t help me_ , he thought. “I didn’t mean to hurt her,” He gasped again.

Right in that moment, caught between hope and guilt, as he was losing his grip on reality, the thought of suicide flickered into existence. Then something changed.

Behind him, the front doors of the church flew open on a powerful gust of wind, slamming back against the walls. Colin pushed to his feet, bedraggled, and worn to the nub his eyes focused on the stormy night beyond the open doors. The wind that spun down the aisle rippling the pages of the hymnals and sending the light fixtures swaying should have been cold, he thought, but it wasn’t. There was warmth that reminded him of sunlight on his face as it curled around him and burrowed through him. The scent of jasmine and roses or perhaps lilies surrounded him and with it came a peace he’d never known before.

The walls began to vibrate and he could swear he heard a powerful voice beneath the rumble.

_Forgiveness he has granted to your soul, son of man._

His throat tightened as he dropped to his knees, the wind dancing around him, and his tears were now of relief. God had heard his plea for help. “Please,” his voice trembled, “what must I do.”

_Many of his soldiers have descended to the earth. If we are to fight the darkness that is coming, we must walk among you without the world knowing. We must be of the physical._

Colin knew then what the Lord needed of him. He was frightened and his heart thundered with the sudden knowledge that perhaps this was what he’d been destined for yet—

“Who are you?” he whispered his words captured and lifted on the wind.

_I am an angel of the Lord._

“What is your name?”

_It does not matter. Accept your destiny you shall know all. There lies within the bowels of Hell a soul that we must retrieve. He is both the Alpha and the Omega as is his brother who grieves upon this earth._

“Yes. I will accept your offer.”

_Fear not, child of man, I shall protect you in my embrace and when the time comes you shall know peace as only one of the blessed few._

The wind increased, the scent of flowers growing so thick it stole his breath away. It was around him, inside him, and a part of him. Kneeling there on the cold stone floor, Colin felt more at peace than he’d ever felt in his entire life. All the darkness that lingered washed away, his pain fading beneath a cloak of forgiveness, sweet and calming. Above him, an orb of light descended through the ceiling, pulsing and growing as it began to take on a humanlike form, a shadow of pure light. He lifted his face to the warmth and his eyes opened, glittering in the overpowering light.

_Open yourself to me, son of man._

Colin nodded and the light streaked downward, slamming into his torso with the strength of a locomotive. As it hit his arms flung open, eyes wide and mouth contorted in a soundless scream. As the light moved beneath his skin, filling his eyes, he went limp, head falling forward. The light gone as quickly as it had appeared.  

Now it was silent in the church, an unearthly silence.

Seconds ticked by and then Colin reached out, hands grasping the wooden pews on either side as he slowly pushed himself to his feet. As he came steady to his feet, his hands dropped away, their imprint burned into the wood. Those who would find them the next morning would speak of it for generations to come. He lifted his head, a sliver of ethereal light skimming over the surface of his eyes, his expression emotionless.

Strolling down the aisle, he paused in the doorway, eyes lifted to the night sky. The rain had stopped and only the faint rumbled of thunder lingered. He exited the church, doors slamming shut behind him of their own accord. Had anyone been near, his words might have reached human ears, but the street was silent and abandoned.

“Castiel,” his voice was deep and raspy as he answered the human’s question. “My Father named me Castiel.”

He stepped further into the night and there was the whoosh of enormous wings as they sliced through the air, and a blur of light. Colin was gone, sins forgiven, leaving behind the faint scent of jasmine on the night wind that too soon faded away.

~Finis~


End file.
